Ego Clashes and Break ups

Relations in life are like blood in body, akin to a breeze in the desert or a drop of rain in scorching heat. Immaterial of the fame and fortune we earn in our lives, we all need someone to laugh with us in blithe moments and support us at our failures. We often assert that we are independent or we don’t need anyone’s emotional support but the truth is that we all need someone to walk with us.

Not many of us are successful enough to carry a relation right till the end. Unfortunately, we all have to move on with life leaving behind some of our most beloved relations. Ego wins over love and we take pride in our false self respect but at the end we all crave for the love that we lost just because of our silly self-esteem which crippled all our courage to make a move

When we find love amongst peers and look for an image of life partner in them, we all experience the most beautiful feelings of this world – Love and Care. But this True love and jealousy go hand in hand. We love our partner to the point of death but the excellence of partner in some field and our own failure to rise to that level sows the seeds of jealousy. That point of time is the most crucial one. We pray for the failure of our own beloveds. Our own mate fails to understand our whims and comprehend that all that we want is his/her time and fear of losing him/her is killing us. This feeling alone is the mother of jealousy in True love. Life goes on and our partner chooses career/progress over bonding with us. Failing to form sync with the partner, we chose to stay quite or simply abort the relation. These relations fail even if we have just a little expectation. Small but unfulfilled expectations annul hopes and smash a caring heart.

Hurt a true heart as many times you want, it won’t stop loving you but if you ever cheat it, it won’t hurt or hate you, but it won’t dare to love you again.

A single most irony haunts these love unions. Both sides know how much they adore each other, but egos prevent both sides from showing flexibility and initiating the primary move. Either side know very well that the issue would resolve upon retrieval of dialogue and just letting the other person know that we all are alone without them. But this ego once again deters us, we assume that this is against our self respect and we finally let go. Hearts shatter and tears find their way out just because we were rigid enough not to go to him/her and tell him/her how much are we incomplete without him/her. May be we haven’t cheated but once again our ego dominates to go for clarification of misconceptions crept in. Just not to openly showcase our emotional weakness and dependency on the care and support of our partner, we dare to sacrifice something as indispensable as our own lives

Child like curiosity and poignant purity gets lost with the passage of time and we all become a victim of self imagined walls of self-worth. Why? Why do we become so rigid as we grow up?

Child Labor

Many a times we succumb to comprehend what we essentially crave for. Take for instance, Gorkha people are agitating for a different state, but is it really the issue they are obsessed with and would they actually be obliged after getting a new state? If that truly is the case, Sikkim would have been the Tokyo of India.

Similar is the case with Child Labor. I observe people emphasizing the significance of its abolition. Consequently the pertinent question is – what do they have to offer in return? Answer to this question is known to nobody. Let’s be specific. Various NGOs continually demand the abolition of child labor from microscopic/macrosopic levels. They want that no child below a certain age should do any sort of forced labor. Instead they all should go to schools and acquire education just like any other child born with a silver spoon in its mouth

Before raising protests to this proposition, let me make my stand very clear. I don’t support forced labor of any sort for any age group. I strongly abhor the ambience in which a poor child is being brought up in developing countries. I am an ardent supporter of endowment of equal prospects to every one irrespective of the financial inequalities existent in society. Giving a hale and hearty childhood to just-born-buds is crucially vital. I would let you know how. Consider 2 children, one properly nourished in a good environment and the other who lived a typical slum life; now at a later stage both are jobless due to illiteracy. Who do you think would resort more easily to social crimes to earn money? Considering this, our effort should be to give all slum children a life which is full of values and opportunities

Coming to my objections, first of all, I don’t think that doing some work is labor of any sort but its excess definitely is. In developing countries, children undertake work either to support their family or to act as substitute by virtue of the cheap labor they provide. A child if enforced to do a work which is totally devoid of learning like sweeping in trains, then that really is a case of child labor. But if a child is working as a mechanic/operator or even at a tea stall for that matter, then it is really adding some future value to it. He is learning either some skill or basics of business. Once the child is grown enough, at least he won’t be in the league of those well educated unemployed who are waiting endlessly for some firm to come and recruit them (They undertake entrepreneurship only after their job eligibility gets expired). He is standing on his own legs and has some genuine practical skill, more fructifying than the bookish knowledge that our institutes, in general, impart.

Secondly, believing that our present education system is even near to education is another blind absurd supposition. If a child attends 6 hours long boring bookish lectures and thereafter joins a 2 hour duration tedious tuition carrying a bag which is heavier than his aspirations from life, then that too is a type of child labor and all those who demand the poor children to go for schools leaving work should seriously reconsider their definitions. The way a child is forced to mug and memorize things he doesn’t like is a type of exploitation too. We should stop children from doing labor since they wish to go to school, but at the same time we should stop our children from going to those persecution centers (which we refer as schools) too as no child wishes to spend his 15 valuable years in the closed cubicles where creativity and originality is murdered by educated rich parents (Why to blame the poor always?) and fit-for-no-other-job teachers. Irony is that now neo social reformists ruminate that our education system lacks in expertise imparting. You drag a child to school compelling him to think bookish way and then in schools you ask him to think out of the box and develop proficiency giving no exposure to the outside world

Thirdly, ours is a developing country. So less are the opportunities that lacs of aspirants fight for a job opening of just few hundred. Are we willing to make those children a part of this crippled league? That would be like playing with the emotions of the child – at first you ask them to go for schools so that they get equal opportunities and later you turn your back when they look for a living. Seriously, that is the reason why a poor father still thinks that engaging his child in a family business is a much safer/reliable bet. A child well versed with any sort of skill would atleast not beg for job in front of MNCs and think innovatively of setting up a business of its own if provided support. He is the type of entrepreneur our country needs

Fourthly our Indian culture too believes that studies and work go hand in hand. In ancient gurukul system, apart from Vedic knowledge, a ward was imparted various skills such as archery/wrestling/business planning/politics along with basic skills like preparing one’s own food for which the disciples used to go to the woods to collect fuel for fire etc. A disciple wasting his entire day in forest doing hunting for his survival wasn’t looked upon as exploitation. In fact it made him stronger and exposed him to the outside world.

Since I firmly believe that we should be a part of solutions instead of merely being complaining dissatisfied brats. I propose a 3 faceted approach as a solution to this issue. I suppose if we focus on values, opportunities and skills, then we can go far beyond in getting sensible prodigies.

Firstly, our education system seriously lacks in its spirit of inculcating values in the souls of young India. Many of the good things are taught so bookish way that no surprises, we all today take them likewise and don’t dare to improvise them in our lives. The magnitude of ethics and team building is unfortunately taught in business schools and not while primary schooling. The stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata are taught to students in the backdrop of them being a myth, how can you expect anyone to learn anything from it. Extra load of useless subjects should be removed. No child should be devoid of toys to play and a Bat to bat in Cricket. Healthy childhood is what assures that no grudges against system are left in the sub conscious mind of the ward. Healthy childhood and skill learning can certainly go hand in hand

Secondly, equal opportunities should be there for everyone. No matter a child is born in a cot of gold or with a family of five to feed, our system should encourage everyone to be a part of it in the way they prefer. Financial discrepancies in the society can’t be removed overnight but definitely our education system shouldn’t be in the handcuffs of capitalists. Unfortunately, our government schools provide easy education but it seriously lacks in quality and couldn’t groom a ward for the outgrowing competition.

Thirdly and most importantly, we should be focused more upon inculcating skills in our education system. Basic Mathematics and basic Science only should be stressed at primary level. Rest all should be practical and realistic focusing more on identifying the true caliber of the ward. In this process if a child has to do some work, I found no problem with it. To all this, I put four restrictions:

1. The child’s age should be more than at least 12 years
2. The child shouldn’t be forced to do what he detests
3. His input in the form of work should only be for 2 – 4 hours
4. Work conditions should be ideal, not like the one you find in glass factories.

Anything more than that is exploitation.

Even the daughter of Bill Clinton use to sell newspapers to fetch more pocket money. That is not exploitation but a learning process where you discover to stand on your own and face the real world. One of the possible solutions could be making schools more inclined towards practical learning after abolishing child labor completely, but I would say the more a ward is exposed to the outside world, the better

Culture Still Not Lost

“Mumbaikars hate Biharis, Assamese hate Biharis, South Indians hate North Indians and vice versa. The best way to conclude all this animosity is to read English, speak English and live English as I unearth no merit in saving an already lost, hybrid culture” – This is what I used to say after Raj Thackrey wrath.

Today I dare to disclose some indigenous yet ignored, long-forgotten practices which are manifestations of our great culture still emanating from the spirit of billions of Indians, in an attempt to arouse pride for the supposedly marvelous culture we inherit

1. We never refer a mother by her name. She is either referred as bhabhiji or chintu ki mummy, but never by her name. Even other mothers refer each other as bhabhiji, behanji etc. Uncles in neighborhood too call all such dignified mothers as bhabhiji but never by their name. This actually is a redolent of our culture where ladies were looked upon with utmost respect in a society. A westerner might say that this is due to identity crisis and Indian mothers have no self image at all. But if half naked, bed changing, lonely lady is having her own individuality then that is definitely a problem of perspectives.

2. Best quality ghee is referred as Desi ghee. Likewise finest quality chicken is referred as desi murga. This actually manifests the sagacity we used to have concerning our customs and native technology.

3. If AIDS spreads then let it spread but we won’t discuss sex related topics so openly with our own family members as we believe in dignity of ambience and inviolability of culture at home. Hence, when awareness campaigns urge us to discuss these things at home, they copy a west suited strategy. In west, couples kiss before their 4 year old son and cuddle as if shaking hands; so if they discuss about AIDS at dining table, it’s perfectly fine with their culture. In India, we need to follow the example of appropriate context and place. Sex was taught not at home, but since it is part and parcel of our life, our religious scripts are full of vivid descriptions of the process of sex. Favorite sex positions were taught through Khajuraho temple so that purity of mind is necessarily there. Can’t the knowledge of condoms be taught at schools through proper channels? Obviously our culture won’t permit to telecast it every now and then at a family show on TV

4. Only a sanctified mind can endeavor to deliver pure knowledge. Let me explain what I mean by this statement. Whenever we see any pundit carrying some modern accessory like mobile, pager, bike or even speaking English for that matter, we usually comment – “khaali kehne ko pundit hain” or “modern pundit hain bhai!!!” or “ab woh zamana kahan”. Obviously we don’t allege leaders of any other religion upon being seen likewise (Not even once any Christian priest or maulvi has been mocked off in any Bollywood movie). This habit actually is evocative of our age old culture where only exceedingly deserving person was considered eligible to deliver knowledge and carry out religious activities. Hence a pundit dealing with Vedic chants should not only follow celibacy or austerity, he/she should also be utmost proficient of being the only recipient. Not just anyone can become a pundit/teacher in our tradition and the concept being preached should be well riveted by the pundit/teacher himself/herself compulsorily. If unfortunately that religious leader decides to plunge into politics even for the sake of nationwide welfare, the very moment super enlightened educated society discards him/her forgetting his/her past philanthropic history.

Many of these attributes may sound awkward or unbelievable at the start, but do give these features a thought minutely, I am pretty sure you all would get what I am trying to say.

Vegetarian or Non-Vegetarian food?

There is an issue which still dictates social allegiances, there is a subject which still inspires MBA aspirants to plunge into it and there is a question where people don’t mind forgetting the spirit of scientific inquiry and start blabbering absurd and concocting asinine. Today I wish to initiate, once again, the perennial apprehension since time immemorial over the burning issue – “Is having non-vegetarian food inhumane?”

If you are a non-vegetarian by chance and if you have ever come across community life as in hostels/townships, you are bound to face the intellectual posturing of the hate brigade comprising of “dharma ke thekedars” - servants of their natural propensity for taunting your choice of interest and jibing you for the supposedly insensible culture that your family chain inherits.

Since last year I was pondering to commence this burning issue prevalent in our society as many of my previous batchmates were having the impression that they are the new generation Avatar of Siddhartha (Lord Buddha) and all non-vegetarians are the next-to-be-tenants-of-Hell. Finally I succumbed to my long unfulfilled craving when few days before one of my friends alleged me that I can not talk of austerity as I myself am a non-vegetarian and arraigned me of hypocrisy.

So let’s start. Firstly the perspective of the Vegetarian brigade:

1. Killing any being for the sake of caprice of tongue is a crime unforgivable and unpardonable.

2. Non Vegetarian food is not fit for human digestion system. Vegetarian food is more nutritious

3. Our Jaw prints are similar to those of herbivores.

4. Spiritual concern attached with such matters

Now let us deal with all these logics put forth one by one:

1. First of all, the truth that we should all acknowledge is that this entire creation sustains an equilibrium where one form of life has to feed upon some other form of life for survival. No one on this Earth is an exception to this elementary veracity.

2. Secondly, it’s an accurately verified and scientifically established fact that trees, plants and herbs have life too. We cannot listen to cries of trees, though, because we can only listen to frequencies starting from 20 Hz till 20000 Hz. But just because we can not hear their whimper doesn’t mean that they are not losing their existence. Still believing that since there is no blood; plants don’t feel pain is an absolutely bizarre logic. Plants also feel ache, they also wail for life when we pluck them to feed our tongue and they are also the house of “Atman” like any other form of life

3. Those who claim that they are some harbinger of animal rights should concede the fact that we kill hundreds of insects while daily walking, thousands of germs while eating any sort of stuff and millions of bacteria while drinking just a glass full of water. All these insects, germs and bacteria are creations of God as well. Excess love for one creation and surfeit ignorance of millions of life forms is completely vacuous and out of sense.

4. Spiritually, God disseminated the bodily abodes to all spirits or the “Atman”. This “Atman” is the shapeless soul and is invariably alike in all creations. So either you kill a germ or an animal, the same “Atman” gets liberated from worldly boundaries and for God, definitely, all of His creations are alike. Why would a mother differentiate between her two children even if one of them is physically challenged? But visibly the humanitarian limit to this concept is that we should follow the Law of Nature and kill any creation just to sustain life. Definitely, we cannot kill any person merely to satiate our tongue following the above stated logic

5. Eating habits are a manifestation of the geological traits of a particular community/ region. In deserts, where it is difficult to grow crops and vegetation, humans are compelled to carry on with animal food. Similarly, in coastal sand one cannot grow wheat and rice and hence fish becomes the life line of such regions

6. Theology infers that Hinduism never restricted anyone from having Non-Veg food. Even in Ramayana, Mahabaharata and Puranas there are several mentions of Non-Veg food being consumed. Though Hinduism considers that Non-Veg food is full of “Rajatamas” and hence should be avoided by spiritual aspirants. Infact the concept of Non-Vegetarianism is attributed to the influence of Buddhism in general and Jainism in particular.

7. Now let us focus on some anthropological aspects. Early man’s first diet was Non-Veg stuff only. Hence it is preposterous to say that our digestive system is intended only for vegetarian food. A cow cannot digest flesh and a lion cannot digest grass, but a human can digest both simply because our system is premeditated for both types of food. Similarly, herbivores have a flat set of teeth while carnivores have pointed teeth. Humans have both types of teeth. This fact only implies that our body system is suited for both types of food.

8. Non-Veg food is essential for many of our body requirements. It is a tremendous source of protein and that is the reason why we won’t find any body builder/WWF fighter surviving only on vegetarian food. Non-Veg food is utmost vital for them.

9. If every person on Earth consumes only vegetarian food, then that would lead to food crisis in this world. Balance is required and mandatory. If we mull over continents like America or Europe, majority of the population consumes Non-Veg food. If we scrutinize the reasons behind, we would find that in developed countries, inclination for practicing agriculture as an occupation reduces and hence the easiest available type of food is Non-Veg. Thus, they have no other alternative but to go for Non-Veg stuff.

( I have purposely put off certain points and logics, just to acclimatize readers to think in that particular direction. Vegetarian food can still be proven as more appropriate, I only wish to see who can think so far. Just curiosity!!!! )

3 Idiots: A Critical Review

“3 Idiots” has hit the screens and is rocking all across the globe. Aamir has done the miracle once again and the movie is bound to break all preceding records. So far so good. The movie has been widely applauded by audience and even by the critics and managed to bag 5 stars in its cart. Most of my friends watched it and acknowledged it as “ultimate”

As far as I am concerned, I think the movie had all the prerequisite masala of a hit movie. It was humorous, it was emotional and above all the message of the movie was loud and clear – “Focus on inculcating and improvising skills rather than following success blindly” and Aamir emphasized this burning issue over and over again.

Unfortunately, I had the pre set image of “5 Point someone” in my mind and perhaps because of that, I found the movie rather disappointing. Let me entail them all in brief:

1. Movie was more about an extra ordinary, Nobel Prize winning material Rancho rather than the story of 3 usual guys with down to earth possessions. Just like Shahrukh projects himself as God in nearly all his movies and hence is rarely considered a great actor by male audience; Aamir khan too did the same and followed suit. Rancho was humorous (while other 2 weren’t), he was a rare prodigy with tech genius (while other 2 weren’t), he was clear in his goals and approach and expert in wooing (while other 2 weren’t) and the list is long

2. Friendship is all about equality where there is no need to say sorry or thank you. But here I found that Farhan and Raju were so obliged that they even went to the extent of going naked to express gratitude. We all have seen what happens in engineering colleges and how close friends come with each other, but have we ever gone naked just to say thank you to some of our friend? That scene is a blemish on the definition of friendship. Who sings a song like “udti patang sa tha who, kahan gaya use dhundho”. Each line of this song will make you realize as if Rancho wasn’t Farhan’s friend but Godfather.

3. The feel of young, innocent, and in this case naughty, romance was missing. Rancho was never interested in love while in original novel he was. So the purity of fresh love that was there in the novel wasn’t there in the movie. Infact the romance depicted in the novel is so realistic.

4. Novel’s novelty is its inherent rush, rush of a young student studying in IIT. The story in novel never gets lethargic and keeps your mind at toes. While the movie was so much focused on highlighting the God Aamir that that rush was missing and to me, movie was a bit sluggish

5. Greatest flaw of the movie was that it was too predictable. I knew that the newly born infant would kick and hence breathe only after someone says “All iz well”. I could envisage that Phunsukh Wangdu is Rancho himself. Similarly, Lobo will commit suicide was quite apparent. For all those who have read the novel, perhaps every scene was palpable.
6. Alterations from the original novel were super boring. Rancho being a fraud and hence once again highlighting Rancho as “poor yet great” was a sort of overdose. The relic-Kalash-being-flushed was another predictable scene. Ladakh school concept was good, but where is the story of engineering life, lives of 3 friends together? Projecting ViruS as a strict teacher is well and good but out of the way eccentric was difficult to digest, hence I failed to co-relate though I hail from the most notorious faculty of this country –Mechanical, ITBHU

7. The feel of a typical hostel life was missing. How assignments are copied at last night, how students fail to co operate but then collage to share, how a student feels raw and fresh after he leaves his home for the first time and how boys spend days and nights talking over same things over and over again – Girls and Professors. That touch was missing, just by portraying extreme cases of ragging and pissing you cannot aver of having showcased the hostel life. “5 point someone” is definitely better in this regard

I would overlook other flaws like 45 year old playing the role of 18 year old engineering student just by the virtue of makeup. In fact to me, it appeared as if the direction is not up to the mark, finishing touch and polishing was only 80% in spite of expected 100%.

Though I must confess that these views are totally personal and observations made above are my personal right.

Shameless Smokers

For a better comprehension of the post ahead, readers need to acknowledge the fact that I neither smoke nor drink. In this post, I would be talking about smokers in particular and drinkers in general.

Gone are the days when one used to value the importance of austerity in life and even thought of being a teetotaler. When I entered my first year in college, I too recognized the fact that youths love enjoying life without feeling any ethical reservations. But, anyways, respect of individuality is what I appreciate and follow. Infact many a times, I myself encourage my friends to drink/smoke to enjoy the limited valuable years of bachelor life and bust the sullen ambience surrounding one’s aura

But anyways, appropriate reciprocating response is always absent as is expected by persons similar to me. Just mentioning them in brief:

1. Smokers never give a damn to the fact that their smoking is passive smoking for others. Many a times they pretend as if they care but that is mostly due to the market value of the person concerned and in long run, the real face gets often revealed. Worst scenario arises when the smoker is your roomie’s friend. In this particular case, he won’t even inquire regarding your personal choices and inconveniences.

2. Greatest emotional attyachar is when you go to some place and they offer to have some sweet/paan/soft drink etc together which you deny due to various reasons. Instantly they would also say no their whim. This solidarity pledge often sounds ridiculous. When you had to drink/smoke, you left us all and did merry making/partying with your similar friends and didn’t give a shit to the fact that I am alone, but now all of a sudden, this momentary expression of love sounds confusing.

3. Smokers/drinkers would always pretend that they have finally got some elixir and now they are having best of their time in some self imagined heaven and treat the non-smokers as sullen beings fed up with their lives. God knows why the hell they feel that they are the only gifted and the happy lads.

Personally I have also seen that smokers have a restricted gamut while selecting friends, they always look for friends with similar interests. While a non- smoker is always open to friends of any type. Hence, I have experienced that smoking habits block you from getting fresh friends and ideas

I hope my friends with similar interests would be having pretty similar experiences

My head bows for them and all the resident respect in my heart emanates for those only who manage to keep the values taught by their parents alive, in this naked professional world. They are the real fighters of adversities in life

P.S. This is my first unedited post

Patna: The 25th City

I consider myself to be extremely lucky that tons of opportunities always approached me without hesitation when it comes to Having India Tour and roving some of the great Indian cities. This weekend, I would be having a visit to Patna, the 25^th city that I managed to stopover till now, out of which, almost 22-23 cities were visited in last 4 years alone

Just to commemorate this supposedly big achievement of mine, I have tried coming up with a list of all the 25 cities that I have witnessed so far.

1. Lucknow: My hometown

2. Varanasi: Lived for 4 years as my alma mater ITBHU is an integral part of this world’s oldest city.

3. New Delhi: Visited Lotus temple, Palika Bazar, Badarpur, Metro stations etc

4. Noida and Ghaziabad: Visited malls just

5. Surat: Visited ONGC plant along with beaches, malls

6. Ahmedabad: Visited IIM Ahmedabad, Satellite centre

7. Mumbai: Visited Elephanta caves, Fashion street, Siddhi vinayak temple, mahalaxmi temple, Hazi ali dargah, Marine drive, Juhu, chaupati, Gateway of India, BARC

8. Pune: Visited Central Mall, Tata Motors, Thermax

9. Bangalore: Visited Garuda Mall, National Science Museum, HAL

10. Goa: Visited Kalingute beach, Anjuna beach and other similar beaches, St Xavier’s church

11. Lonavala and Khandala

12. Jammu: Visited Vaishno Devi

13. Chandigarh and Ambala: Visited Mansa Devi temple, Bhakhra Dam, Naina Devi temple

14. Agra: Do I need to disclose?

15. Gorakhpur and Kushinagar: Grandma’s home, Visited shrines of Kushinagar related to Lord Buddha

16. Bhagalpur: My parent EDC in NTPC. Still staying at this place

17. Kolkata: Visited Victoria memorial, Dakshineshwar Kali temple and various malls

18. Vindhyachal: Visited the temple as well as Viddham waterfall

19. Renukoot: Visited Hindalco, Birla Temple

20. Kanpur: Visited IIT Kanpur

21. Allahabad: Visited Sangam, Hanging Bridge

22. Guwahati: Visited IIT Guwahati and Kamakhya Temple

23. Rudrapur: Visited Honda Siel plant

24. Nainital: Visited all picturesque places

25. Patna: To give my CAT paper