Delhi Rapes might have awakened the long slept junta but the truth remains that similar instances in the past were just news to us. We read the headlines of some minor getting raped and moved ahead. We read that the rape victim is yet to get justice and moved ahead, but never reacted. No votes were cast on this issue and no government fell on this ground. We are like this only. Until a problem grows to behemoth proportions to finally reach our own homes, we just don't give a damn to it. This is how we Indian people have evolved in the past few decades. Empathy is one virtue that has totally left us and Pathetic is the only word which comes to my mind when I see ourselves through the mirror of reality
Problems faced by society are almost always a product of society itself. Before I start any analysis of the issue, let us have a look at the kind of society we have evolved into.
1. When it comes to question of security, women have always been a victim of whims of men. Girls are advised to stay at home and not to go outside after dark because we fear that their security might be compromised. We have been following this practice since ages. I have seen brave brothers accompanying their sisters in a Rail journey just because it is not safe to travel alone and their sole task in this entire exercise being picking up their sisters from one place and dropping them to another place. Even elderly women don't travel alone. Once again, this trend is in practice since ages. We fear and fear since long. Cowardly are the solutions that we have devised. We have only imposed regulations on womenfolk. Instead of coming out in open and fighting for this unjust system where there is no freedom of movement to women, we have only taken cowardly actions of retreat. Surprisingly, we do this with pride with no zeal whatsoever to change it ever. This is the society we have evolved into and very proudly we pass it to our future generations with no shame whatsoever. Modern generation turned out to be a bit more smarter. Instead of creating a safe environment and a safe society by everlasting efforts, they preferred to secure their family alone. They worked hard for Civil Services, they turned the world upside down for a Sarkari job so that the power interests of the family against the society using Police or system as instruments are secured. No efforts or even thinking whatsoever by the educated youths of the country for this highly unjust system. We have simply adapted to it and accepted it as a way of life.
2. When it comes to morality, women are once again a victim of epic restrictions. I have seen women sweltering in the hot mid day temperatures of +45 degree Celsius but they are forced to perform daily chores wearing a tight blouse and a 5 meter long Sari with 10 additional items. We fear as if when given freedom, negligibly clad women would start roaming out in the street open. When a man fantasizes a voluptuous actress, its perfectly normal but if a girl is ever found fantasizing a six-pack abs, she is a slut. No amount of literacy earned by any Degree at any corner of the world by Indian males could ever change their perception on the self-determined definitions of the sanctity of women. No matter how many sexual encounters an Indian male might have made before marriage, an Indian girl is considered Jhuthi if she has ever had any experience of sex before marriage. All highly educated males invariably search for unbroken seals. Even our terms are derogatory to the dignity of women. where Fuck in English means a mutual act, its counterpart in Hindi can only be used by men to express the physical prowess they might have exerted over some women. So much is our mind boggled with medieval ways of treating women that when it comes to expression of women's internal desire for sex, we always take a derogatory approach. Exertion of sexual desires makes a girl slut even amongst the company of her modern male friends, while the vice-versa is always taken as a joke or expression of natural desires by male friends infront of their female friends. Where oral sex is a mutual act supposedly enjoyed equally by both partners, We Indian men take it as a personal achievement. Remember the scene from the movie "Delhi Belly" where as the actor announces that he had had oral sex in the past, everyone looked upon the actress as if she has done a crime, at the same time actor was standing with pride as if getting sucked has made him won some war of ego. A girl exposed her mouth and a boy exposed his genitals in the DPS MMS but all ruins had to be suffered by the girl only Even supposed intellectuals like Aamir Khan could not prevent such derogatory depiction of woman. This is the kind of filth that is filled in our minds when it comes to giving equal rights to woman.
3. Norms set in the society are equally derogatory. In the absence of Purusharth in Indian youths, false definitions and false representations is all Indian men are carrying upon their shoulders. Invariably all Gaalis contain womanly terms and a man is expected to show valor when inflicted upon with any such exposure. Not been able to show it is taken as a sign of Namardaangi. A newly married Indian man is considered Mard only if he controls rather suppresses his wife. If this wife gets too expressive or rebellious, people blame the husband. Obviously Men develop an urge to control their wives in such an environment or they would be labelled as Joru Ka Ghulam. People fear. people fear that if she becomes desirous and expressive, she might become out of control. Indian men failing to perform at bed, take the other route of suppressing their wives and hence silencing her. Women are not supposed to demand for more pleasure. Brothers are expected to save their sisters, less because of duty and more because of the pressure that has been created upon them. Hence in a group of girls, a girl can say to her friend that her brother looks hot but if the statement is given by a boy in his group of friends, the boy is expected to do a fight or he would be labelled as weak. Obviously, it isn't that a girl does not love his brother, its just that everything in our society circles around woman. Ironically, This is the only act of valor an Indian man is supposed to possess, forget about fighting at the borders or fighting corruption. Indian parents are more than happy if the Bahu is well trained by her husband and serves well. A small height ugly girl can never expect to get a model type husband even if she might have achieved all her aims while vice-versa is a common scene in our society.
Dignity is everything a girl is supposed to save for her entire life and her tryst with society starts at this juncture. Dabangg youths when failing to acquire a woman through gentlemen-ship, target at this sanctity and taking it away is considered as a proper revenge inflicted upon a rebellious female. More than half of rapes occurring in rural areas are a result of this woman's tryst with dignity and the herculean task of not getting it stained. A typical man having been insulted by everyone he meets outside, shows his frustration or the "Mardaangi" by beating his wife. Upon rejection in love from a beautiful girl, we Indian men find the only manly way to retaliate by throwing acid at her face and taking away all the pride she plausibly showed by virtue of her excess beauty. This is the kind of values we have developed over these ages
4. Bollywood is no far behind in making of our society what it is today. Bollywood is also a reflection of how Indian men see women. An actress in her 30s is considered to have played her innings, more so if she gets married. To satisfy this lust of Indian men, actresses have to dance in mini skirts even in the valleys of Switzerland and perhaps dancing at 5 songs is all they do in a movie. Frieda Pinto can never hope of becoming a main stream actress but Katrina Kaif is the number one heroine for obvious reasons. 100 years of Indian cinema have only whined about Jawani and how to enjoy it. almost every line in a typical song has sexual connotations as in Jawani beeti jaaye, Raat kaise kategi, Gori jawaan ho gayi, Milan abhi adhura hai, Chunri chhoti ho gayi or Choli tang ho gai. These few lines form the origin of tonnes of Bollywood songs. Almost every movie since 1970s has a rape scene and a najayaz Aulad issue. Invariably all our movies show that an actor was able to get an actress by misbehaving or eve-teasing which later developed into love. Obviously this would have impact on society and in absence of guidance, Indian youths who take themselves no less than an actor, follow suit. Typecasting done by these movies is another issue. Indian widows have progressed enough to wear coloured sarees, but in an Indian movie or TV serial, we still find a widow wearing a white saree. These stupid directors just cant grow
5. This could be my personal view. At times I feel that there is a juxtaposition of two drastically contrasting cultures in metro cities like Delhi. At one side we have flamboyant females believing in freedom through all possible ways, more in following west perhaps (which is their natural right as per me) and on the other side we have those rural workers, who have only seen women clad in entirety and now could not comprehend why is deepika playing Holi in hot-shorts, living the fast paced hard faced life of Delhi away from their female counterparts coping with satyriasis. Not able to fulfill natural corporal desires and unable to suppress them too, they have turned into beasts. I think that whatever happened in Delhi was a culmination of improper fencing between those innocent girls and these frustrated beasts
6. This is the most important development that has taken place in society as per me. Any person, male or female, reaches puberty at an age of Thirteen. From then onwards, sexual desires are no longer in control of common masses. This is what drives their instincts in the coming years. Different societies dealt with it in their own ways. Indian society dealt with it through early marriages like by the age of 18 while western society dealt with it by removing all possible taboos that might have gotten attached with this one particular word - "Sex". Both are correct in their own ways. Problem is with the hybridization that Indian society faced. Indian youths now can no longer think of meeting their natural desires before achieving some financial security. Unfortunately, it takes a little too much time and in cities, a male has to wait for minimum 26-27 years before he ever encounters the most divine instrument God created to make life possible on this Earth. Very unfortunately, our society has totally disregarded this fact and what our parents only do these days is to mount pressure on these internally dissatisfied youths. This is a gross disregard and violation of Human rights as per me. No wonder why, in absence of proper control, these youths turn into beasts at many places. This is perhaps one of the root causes of what is happening with our society. Once married, these beasts take doing sex as their moral right with complete disregard for the consent of the partner
7. Another important development that has taken place is the complete lack of fear in these rowdy beasts. Somewhere, in their unconscious minds, they know that nothing would happen to them either because of the backing of their influential parents or simply because of the absence of Law and Order. It is utter nonsense to say that clothing acts as a catalyst. I ask, if some female IPS walks in provoking clothes, knowing that she is an IPS, would you ever rape her? No, even if you are heavily drunk. Society should never give Talibani interpretations or very soon male dominance would require girls to walk in streets with all their body parts covered or don't come out of their homes at all. Their is absolutely no limit to how low a degenerate society can go. Reason for rapes is never the clothing, its just the dirty thinking that has generated out of utter disregard for the status and dignity of womenfolks. Some of my colleagues said that the rapes occur because girls are enjoying freedom a little more than required and they should not come out of their homes late at night or always be with someone related. My only answer to them is that there is no end to a beast's cruelty. The ones who are arguing that girls should not roam with their boyfriends, what is the guarantee that your wife wont be raped even while roaming with you. Seriously, there is no end to atrocity and one should never think of no-sense solutions like this
Blaming the society is never the answer, so, I have tried coming with solutions as well
1. Changes should address the root cause. One fine night, when I was interacting with my colleagues over Rapes in India during my night shift, I was surprised to find that most of them thought that girls only instigate boys to come and grab them by being over-expressive. Some of them even thought that what is the need for girls to come out of their homes at night when they know that there is no security. I can only say that quest for sex is a natural human desire and we should never take a medieval approach when it comes to giving equal rights to women. They have their desires too and it is their right. Suppressing their right only means we are not men enough to face them on equal terms. Be a man. Just because a girl is expressive doesn't mean that we have got the right to suppress her will and rape her. Forcing a girl to do unwanted sex is a crime even if it is done against a prostitute, society should learn to appreciate this fact. We have to respect women and their desires.
I wont ask for enacting a new law as we already have enough. I would only ask people to come out of their homes and stop taking things the way they are. If girls are not secure at night, then what kind of society we are building in? That girl who got helpless at midnight just because she got late at work or couldn't get any conveyance, can be someday our own sister too. Preventive approach is a sign of defeat. Curative measures is the need of the moment. Don't expect police to be present at all places. Instead teach your own children not to take advantage of a helpless girl at midnight. Revolt is a necessity now. Indian society has perished and rotten, it will rot further to finally reach our homes if we won't rebel against these norms.
If we wish to become developed, we need to develop a society where our own sister could walk the streets of a city alone past midnight without fear. That would be real development
Respect women and instead learn to control and oust once own frustrations instead of imposing them on women
2. Once again, how could a beast learn to respect women when he is internally suffering form intense phase of satyriasis. I request society to consider those beast's state of mind as well. Root cause is frustration. Either follow the Indian way or the western way but please don't follow norms that turn a human into a beast. Indian society has failed to evolve at this particular juncture. Unfortunately our Bollywood movies expose us to too much porn. So, the Indian way of self control or early marriages is no longer possible. Removing the taboos attached with Sex is one thing our society is still not willing to do acting unconcerned about the needs of their own wards. This frustration of a modern youth only is the leading cause of pre-marital affairs that we see these days. Analyze the problem psychologically. I am not giving any suggestions but I am definitely requesting to be rational . One of the solutions definitely could be to shed all taboos attached with words like "Izzat" , "Sex" etc. A society exposed to pornography of epic proportions can not keep both things together. Choose one - the taboos and the Ancient culture where no rapes happened or the East-West amalgamation with no taboos. By Dignity or Izzat, I mean to say that Dignity should not be given so high a status that we start treating rape victims as having lost everything in life (Unfortunately taboo attached with Izzat makes a forceful penetration in a girl's life, her life long curse)
3. Thinking needs to be changed. Bollywood should understand that women are not items of consumption. Their depiction in movies as that of an entertainer who does Bharatnatyam, Kathak, Disco, Swimming in bikini and all other things instead of doing acting, should be stopped.
4. I also came across people who gave absurd suggestions like provocative clothing by girls is the sole cause in all the instances of city rapes (they say this proudly while disregarding the situation in villages). I must say that not being gone through such a torture, it is very easy for a male dominated society to come up with such solutions. If clothing alone is a factor then Miami must be the rape capital of this world. I would say that drinking by men is also found to be a common factor, why not to ban alcohol instead? Here is where entire "man"kind would flock to give other versions of rape and its causes.
Finally, my only request with every sensible empathetic person who wishes to change this country is to revolt. Don't take the things the way they are. Question them, analyze them and finally if it's wrong, strive to change them. Never follow/make norms that look at preventive side of the problem. It is our duty to make this society, these roads, these buses, these gardens, these offices enjoyable and liveable for everyone. That is the only way for being really developed. If we will instead ask "what was that girl doing outside in the market, so late at night?", then we are running away from our own cowardice. Let us all be Manly in our behavior. Change has to be from within.
