Relations in life are like blood in body, akin to a breeze in the desert or a drop of rain in scorching heat. Immaterial of the fame and fortune we earn in our lives, we all need someone to laugh with us in blithe moments and support us at our failures. We often assert that we are independent or we don’t need anyone’s emotional support but the truth is that we all need someone to walk with us.
Not many of us are successful enough to carry a relation right till the end. Unfortunately, we all have to move on with life leaving behind some of our most beloved relations. Ego wins over love and we take pride in our false self respect but at the end we all crave for the love that we lost just because of our silly self-esteem which crippled all our courage to make a move
When we find love amongst peers and look for an image of life partner in them, we all experience the most beautiful feelings of this world – Love and Care. But this True love and jealousy go hand in hand. We love our partner to the point of death but the excellence of partner in some field and our own failure to rise to that level sows the seeds of jealousy. That point of time is the most crucial one. We pray for the failure of our own beloveds. Our own mate fails to understand our whims and comprehend that all that we want is his/her time and fear of losing him/her is killing us. This feeling alone is the mother of jealousy in True love. Life goes on and our partner chooses career/progress over bonding with us. Failing to form sync with the partner, we chose to stay quite or simply abort the relation. These relations fail even if we have just a little expectation. Small but unfulfilled expectations annul hopes and smash a caring heart.
Hurt a true heart as many times you want, it won’t stop loving you but if you ever cheat it, it won’t hurt or hate you, but it won’t dare to love you again.
A single most irony haunts these love unions. Both sides know how much they adore each other, but egos prevent both sides from showing flexibility and initiating the primary move. Either side know very well that the issue would resolve upon retrieval of dialogue and just letting the other person know that we all are alone without them. But this ego once again deters us, we assume that this is against our self respect and we finally let go. Hearts shatter and tears find their way out just because we were rigid enough not to go to him/her and tell him/her how much are we incomplete without him/her. May be we haven’t cheated but once again our ego dominates to go for clarification of misconceptions crept in. Just not to openly showcase our emotional weakness and dependency on the care and support of our partner, we dare to sacrifice something as indispensable as our own lives
Child like curiosity and poignant purity gets lost with the passage of time and we all become a victim of self imagined walls of self-worth. Why? Why do we become so rigid as we grow up?
7 comments:
in short, is she leaving, passing out from college?!
anyways, leaving and departures are part of being with someone, at least methinks so. We mostly dont need anyone to support our own existence. By this what i mean is that actually we do need a partner but not necessarily one constant one, but rather we all hop around in our emotional involvement from person to person. thus, this is how both things, our ego and our emotional-cum-psychological need,are fulfilled.
Like in childhood, we like our parents, then friends, then girl/boy friend, then wife, the children, then grand children, and so on. But ,noticeably we dont stay steadfast on one person.
Drawing a lesson from one leeson giving flick,Cast Away (starring Tom hanks), i can confidently say so. Tom loses himself from his wife, finds williams (that base ball), loses william, finds life back, loses his wife, and in the end shown smiling towards a new girl!
that is how life goes. Losing is a part of all this.
one blogstory i have read reassures that god gifted humans with this galore of emotions so that he could form as also break to many relations in life.
In short, we do depend but effectively on not one, to conform our survival needs!
• This might be the experience you had in your life. I can feel the pain and emotions of your sole, sometime this bitterness of relationship makes the bond more stronger but ending up a relation, ignoring, and isolating from your beloved ones is not a solution whatever the reason be.
• Being detached and still thinking about him/her no matter what the circumstances were gives pain to both, which actually shows how much love and care you have for them.
• As you rightly said ego, attitude, and higher expectations, etc induces gaps in relations and first and foremost thing is to resolve such misconception by understanding each others view point, so its necessary and obvious to talk.
• As time pass need, attitude and ego of a person changes so they stared giving priorities. People start searching for their love and ignore those who loves him.His experience, success, sourness of life lets him to create certain boundaries and belief (rigidness). Such boundaries hinders the relation as it ignore your close ones or produce a gap and resulting in splitting/ break ups in some cases. Sometimes close friends/ beloved one try to break those rigid walls and faces the anger, as a friend he can understand and you also have to understand that you hurt him. Keeping the personal and professional life separate might be the answer of your question and thats not easy too.
• Anyway, we are human being not very perfect and do a lot of mistakes in life and relation. And my friend sometime formalities are needed atleast for your close ones .
@ Mannu
Rightly said, but unless you get the replacement, life is a hell
@ Naveen
It seems you took my post to be based upon some personal experience. My friend, first of all, let me tell you that it has nothing to do with the case u supposedly know. Particularly the reason part, i can say is inspired from movie abhimaan etc.
The things that happen after a breakup, might be my personal experience
I want you to know that sometimes, if you become so weak that you compromise with your ethics just to gain a particular person in your life, then you are the weakest one and in no time, the same perosn will leave you again finding you a losse character. at that point of time, you would have neither the person nor the self respect in your life
I sincerely believe that if the break up is over some ethical cause, it should never be compromised with
personal misconceptions should never come in between a relation, here i agree with you
Sometimes you love a person so much that you break all barriers anfd the person in front is ruthless enough to disregard your love over and over again, do one really waits till eternity to wait for the day when he/she will understand your love?
Sorry to say dear, nothing is inspired from movie abhimaan.
I want you to ask yourself that
“ Is that really a weakness or love ? “,
“ Is there any meaning of these ethics if you are going to lose someone good just because of self-respect and false pride ? ”
Love never have boundaries no matter in what form it is, and ethic is our creation.
Its you to think what it is. If the person on other side think you are the weakest one then its his foolishness and in long run only he can understand what he lost. Waiting for him is not a solution, there are many who loves you and you can live for them for rest of your life.
@ Naveen
My friend , I would suggest you to read the stories of Tulsidas and Mahatma Gandhi and become aware of how they fall for lust and learned from it later
Compromising with ethics is no noble way and as far as i am concerned, I sincerely believe in sticking to ethics as ethics only are the manifestation of your self respect and the teachings that you have learned from your parents
Many a times, you are bound to move ahead and leave someone beyond, tht is the point where you have to decide - who is expendable? your self respect or the lust?
Lust and love are two different things. I told all these because such people are few in life and I didn’t mean to compromise with everyone. This you can see a test too, if lower down your level and try for resolving the matter, is the person on other side do the same by lowering his attitude and ego , so if the result is +ive then its good and if the outcome is –ve then he is not good for being part of you.
I am agree with you that sometime, you need to move ahead and leaving someone special behind but we don’t split/break up with them , we somehow still in contact with them.
As you have suggested me, I will surely go through their histories.
Good test
Results have always been -ve dear
I had kept my self respect at lowest levels just to keep the relation alive
but the outcome was never to enthrillling
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